"Maybe it's time someone returned the favor," Faith says.
"It's not a favor," I mutter, mostly to myself.
I have many questions for Angel, mingled with regrets and reproaches, but as we enter his office I realize that it all comes down to two things. Did he promise anything else to Wolfram and Hart to get them to alter reality for such a massive number of people and why did he erase Lilah.
Angel is at his desk. I sit on the visitor's chair in front of him.
"How did you get them to do the spell? What did you offer them in return?"
He looks at me in silence. I can see such sadness and regret in the depths of his eyes that I feel almost guilty to harass him. I brought him from the bottom of the ocean, fed him my blood after he had withered almost to the point of no return after Connor had made sure he never surfaces again, and he still fucked us all for the sake of his son.
"Nothing else. Just our agreement to work here."
I don’t know if I can believe him. Time will tell. Time I intend to use to look for the answers I can't trust coming from him. But I still have one more question.
"Why did you erase all my memories of Lilah?"
My voice hasn't even trembled saying the name. I didn't close my eyes at the memory. I'll deal with this later. In private.
"What are you talking about?" Angel asks, looking surprised.
"I'm talking about Lilah Morgan. Former head of Special Projects. Doesn’t ring any bells?"
He shakes his head uncomprehendingly.
"My lover for six months. I couldn’t remember her face, or her name. Did you enjoy knowing that I couldn't remember that she ever existed?"
"Wes, I give you my word, I have nothing to do with that. All I asked was that no one remembers Connor."
I don’t go on. If Angel hasn't done this, there is only one person who could have. The one who brokered the deal. It would have been easy for her to slip this in the request. Lilah.
Angel seems to reach the same conclusion.
"She probably wanted to give you a chance to start with a clean slate. She must have lov..."
"She didn't love me," I say, standing up abruptly. "I'll get to the bottom of this, Angel. I'll get all the truth," I tell him.
I said it plainly, without the trace of menace I could've put in the words. I'm not looking for vengeance. I want the truth. If he's the one who took Lilah from my mind, in some twisted way, he'd be entitled to do have done it. I took his son and condemned him to eighteen years in hell. It looks like the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
"You know something, in all the years I've known you, I don't think I ever heard you apologize," Angel says.
He's probably right. I take responsibility for my actions, but I don't ever apologize. Feels like a waste of time.
If there's one person on Earth I should apologize to, it's Connor. But I know it won’t make up for his term in hell, so I probably won't apologize to him either.
"See you on Monday," I tell him and walk out.